Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Angst, cereal, high school, Angela Chase, the usual.

Greetings from my bed, where I currently reside every moment that I'm not in school or consuming mass amounts of cereal. Since this post comes to you in the middle of the week while I am caught up in the midst of school and homework and lots of  teen girl emotions the next few paragraphs will give you your daily dose of endearingly pathetic teen angst. (This is one of those diary posts I warned you about.) 
My school is small (around 90 to 100 people tops) so I know almost everyone which can be comforting and unsettling because I'm pretty sure everyone knows me too. No one really talks to me because a.) I'm a freshman and b.) I mostly hang out with the most gorgeous and "popular" (I kind of hate that term) girl in my class so I'm always surrounded by people but never really engaging. I like it sometimes because I can observe everyone and no one pays attention. Sometimes I feel like I'm not even a student, just an observer feeding my curiosity for today's youth. (That sounds unintentionally creepy.) Walking through the hallways is an entire ordeal unto itself, sometimes it feels like everything is in slow motion and it's all on a tipping point, like at any moment things could just fall apart and people would realize just, how pointless so many things are. 
Below are some stills from some of my favorite tv shows of the 90s that encapsulate most to all of my feelings about high school at the moment. 



I've also been thinking a lot about validation recently. Especially what validates feelings and how that relates to angst and all that fun stuff. 
While in New York I was talking to a friend of mine (granted she is an adult woman so she's been through all this) and we were talking about this blog and how I'm perpetually terrified that my feelings are not validated and therefore should not be felt/talked about/acknowledged. She brought up the good question of "Is angst really that bad?" and that really got me thinking, I mean I've always been told "Don't become one of those self centered angsty teenagers!" and maybe I'm focusing too much on that one word but I feel like it kind of covers all the feelings I'm going for. I mean, this is really the only time I can feel like this and write about things like this without seeming like a total loser. (What I'm getting at is you don't see a lot of 30 somethings spending their Tuesday evenings googling images of Daria to put on their blog.) She also pointed out that hey, this is the time! I'm a teenage girl RIGHT NOW and I can be angsty RIGHT NOW so I might as well embrace it. So that's what I'm doing. Or at least trying anyway. 

So, to conclude, Lillie is still obsessed with what being a real, validated teenage girl is and still trying to explain all her thoughts on the word angst.

All images from Google 

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Just some stuff

So in a long round about way I'm back at this here old blog. I deleted it and took a break from blogging for a while then made a Tumblr but decided that that wasn't the platform I wanted to use so I found myself back here. It's nice to be back, like coming home in a way. I put all the posts from my Tumblr on here just so I wouldn't loose all my content.

A lot of things have happened in the past 6 months or so. I'm in high school now which is weird, parts of it are wonderful but parts of it are terrible and it's all very high school-y. I even have a cliched ponytail art teacher. (Hi Mr.Sobel) (He's actually a lovely person.) I have moments on a daily basis where it is further confirmed that I am, in fact Angela Chase and that yes, I'm still terrible at algebra. It's exactly what I expected and nothing at all like I expected. It's weird. Good weird, I think.
 I went to my first Fashion Week in New York a few weeks ago too. It was an incredible experience, to say the least. I was working backstage as an intern so I didn't really get to watch the shows (I saw one but for the others I had to stay backstage.) It was odd too though, and very surreal. It was like I was suddenly there with all these models and bloggers and designers who I've been fans of for years and I couldn't just be a fan anymore. I was part of it. It was crazy to realize that this is an actual thing I could do, that I am doing. It's much less glamourous then it's made to seem like but I kind of expected that. I honestly wasn't sure how I'd feel about but I ended up loving every minute of it. I was always one of the only ones backstage who wasn't wearing black which at first made me really self conscious but then I realized, I don't really care. They're just people and they chose to wear black. I'm just a person and I chose to wear a vintage DVF jumpsuit. Okay.
I wanted to write about NYFW earlier but I had to come home and be a normal teenager again for a little while.

Anyway, I plan on posting more soon. It's hard as I have to commute to school so I wake up at 4:30 in the morning (I don't want to talk about it.) and get home at around 5 or 6 in the evening. I'll be posting all sorts of stuff now too, some diary-ish stuff (next in the life of the average angsty teen, did she actually forget about that math test? Does the cute boy in her art class even know she exists?) some outfit and fashion posts as well as maybe some of my art and some beauty/hair things.

It's good to be back.
So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about reality, and creating your own. I’ve always been fascinated with other people’s realities and how they see and shape their world. When I was about eleven or twelve I remember I went through a pretty long phase of collecting little words, thoughts and random tidbits that I thought became another persons reality once I had them. I kept a little notebook with all these things and would basically just step into that persona whenever I was dissatisfied with my life at the time. I was (and still am) so fascinated how each human sees the world differently. How each moment is experienced differently for everyone. 
In the past few years I’ve realized that that sort of escapism wouldn’t really work as I become older and started to find myself more and more distanced from creating my own world, especially when I was having trouble in my real life. In the past few weeks though I have realized that that sense of my own world and the escape I could find has translated itself into my writing, my outfits, my bedroom, the things I listen to/read/watch etc. This realization was especially comforting as the past few weeks have been brimming with change and I have found that all I want to do is basically hide in my room and not think about anything that is actually happening in my life. I have been loosing myself in books and films and music and writing and slowly reconstructing my little world.
I realize that I can’t hide in my room forever mumbling about reality and marathoning My So Called Life but for now, in my last few weeks of summer before high school, that’s really all I want. 
Hello there, 
I don’t have a whole lot to say today, I’ve been wildly busy with a production of Much Ado About Nothing that I am a part of so I have been focusing all thoughts and energy into that. This outfit was mainly inspired by Florence Welch and an editorial I just found in a vintage Seventeen magazine. The hat was my moms, the dress is from Free People and the boots and necklace were gifts from ShoeMint and JewelMint. I am absolutely in love with these boots and have been wearing them with almost everything. 
In the next few days I plan on doing a DIY project or maybe another style inspiration post. What do you think? 

Hi there, 
So today I’m combining an outfit post with a review of my new lipstick, Airborne Unicorn from Lime Crime. This outfit was mainly inspired by sassy grannies and feminist librarians. The scarf is my mum’s lucky traveling head scarf but I kind of want to steal it. I’m not usually a fan of leopard print but I can stand it in small doses. I got the necklace on Etsy from Kate Rowland and am absolutely obsessed with it. The shirt is from Brandy Melville and I don’t wear it often because I feel like I have to live up to said sassiness which is not always easy. The rings are from Urban Outfitters, a Tibetan market and Etsy. The armor ring and the triangle rings were gifted to me by JewelMint. They gave me a few rings and I have had a lot of fun stacking them and making different combinations. I especially love the armor ring because it makes me feel like I’m going to fight some epic battle. The skirt is vintage and was a gift from mum and the socks were a gift from her boyfriend, who has excellent taste. The shoes were white when I bought them but I dunked them in a tub of RIT dye and poof, lilac sneakers (ok so maybe it involved a lot more “OW MOTHER OF PEARL THAT WAS BOILING WATER” “MOM IT LOOKS BROWN” I THINK THAT MIGHT BE FIRE” “OH MY GOD ABORT ABORT” but that’s besides the point.) Then I attacked them with some tape and a sharpie and now they are some of my most loved shoes.
Now on to Airborne Unicorn. I was hesitant to order form Lime Crime after reading quite a few bad reviews from sources I trust but it looked like the loveliest shade of lilac so I went for it and let me say it now, it was SO worth it. It was a little pricey (about 16 dollars without shipping) but this is coming from a 14 year old who doesn’t have a job, keep in mind. It arrived in the mail very soon after I ordered it which was a pleasant surprise. The box looked average from the outside but when I opened it it was like entering a world of pink unicorns and polkadots and happiness. I’m just going to come out and say it, I’m a total sucker for cute packaging and Lime Crime lived up to all of my wildest packaging hopes and dreams. As for the actual lipstick, it was exactly the shade the website displayed. It goes on pretty matte and stays for long amounts of time. It’s subtle but just purple enough to be weird. I love it and have been wearing it almost everyday. 

Hi there,
So a question I get asked a lot is “Who are your style icons?” “Who do you take style inspiration from?” these questions are very valid but are asked so often that they can get tiresome. I like to think I take inspiration form these ladies but I’m always scared I’ll just end up copying them and become a walking paper doll. And the thing is, I find style inspiration everywhere, not just in people. Nature, certain time periods, weird aesthetic files in my brain that usually only make sense to me, as well as my friends have been inspiring me a lot lately. That being said these are my current style icons.
My first icon for the day is Doe Deere of Lime Crime makeup. I had heard of Lime Crime before but only truly discovered the company and Doe last night on an orange juice fueled hunt for the perfect lilac lipstick (which I found and ordered on Lime Crime and will do a review of when it comes.) I love that Doe mixes ridiculously bright colors and patterns but always seems to pull it off perfectly. She also is a huge supporter of just doing you and embracing what you have which is hard for me but I admire her for it. Not to mention her hair. I’m obsessed. I’m actually thinking of dying my hair purple or pink soon. Maybe.

 Tavi Gevinson is my second style icon for today (I say today as these things change quite regularly in my world.) Tavi has been a huge inspiration for me since I was probably about 11. Through her blog I learned about feminism, fashion and started to figure out that it was ok to wear whatever the hell you want. I honestly don’t know what I would be like if i hadn’t started reading her blog. What I love about her style is that it’s entirely her own. I’ve never seen anything like it and i think that’s a part of why she kind of blew the fashion world open, she was (and is) so unique and sure of what she likes and why. She is distinctly modern yet her style is very vintage. It feels quite accessible and real too which is another part that I love about it.

 And last but most certainly not least, Florence Welch. It was incredibly hard to choose just a few photos because I swear to god that woman could wear a trash bag and she would still be the epitome of perfection. I am a huge fan of hers in general but she has been one of my top style icons even before I started liking her and her music. In her early career her style was much more thrift store, crazy, it sort of looks like I got dressed in the dark but I totally pull it off look. She has refined her style a lot and I admire that but I know I will always love the days of clown suits and copious amounts of glitter smeared across her face.

All photos form tumblr or google 
Hi there, 
This post is much overdue but this last week has been crazy. Fourth of July was really busy as I had some close friends from LA staying with me and then right after that there was this huge arts festival in my town and I ended up staying at friends houses almost the entire weekend. Anyway, this outfit was inspired by a lot of the punk/glam (ugh I hate that word) editorials I’ve been seeing lately and the recent rise of the overall shorts. Now I usually couldn’t really care less about trends but I’ve actually really been enjoying all the overall shorts I’ve been seeing lately. I think they are really versatile and great for summer.
The below images are just a few of the many I collected when looking for inspiration for this outfit. I’m a little obsessed with Alice Dellal right now. Her beauty is so unique and different from other models and I love that she has stayed herself even though she has become so well known. I love her shaved head and have been contemplating shaving my head lately. Or maybe a pixie cut. I also kind of want to go blonde. Or maybe dye it lilac. Hm. Having hair is hard, there’s so many things I can do with it. 
I adored all the looks at the Met Gala and it was hard to just choose a few. (Ok, I wasn’t a huge fan of Miley Cyrus’s dress but I loved all the others. ) I am currently reading The Mortal Instruments series and loving it and I was ecstatic when I found out Lily Collins will be playing Clary. I am sure she will be great and she and Jaimie make the most beautiful couple. (On screen and off.) 
I think I may do a style inspiration post or maybe a DIY next. What do you guys think? 

 The pictures below are the result. I am really loving the hair style I did. I’ve seen a lot of girls who look absolutely gorgeous with a partially shaved head but I don’t know if I could pull it off so I opted for twisting the sides back. Super simple and it stays in place all day. As for makeup I went with the expected dark eyes/dark lips combo but I actually kind of love it. The lip color I’m wearing is actually a lip liner but the color is perfect so I use it as more of a lipstick. The color sort of reminds me of Angela Chase which makes me love it even more.
The jewelry was generously given to me by the lovely people at Jewelmint (I’ll put a link below) and happened to work perfectly with the outfit. I have actually been wearing this bracelet almost everyday, it goes with almost everything in my wardrobe. I hate the word “glam” but the necklace did add the little hint of sparkle and glamour I was looking for with this outfit.
I thrifted the overall shorts on a recent trip to Nashville and have been wearing them a ton this summer. They are super fun to pair with different sweaters and tights. I was so excited when I found these at a thrift store because I had already had my eye on a Topshop pair but they were 80 dollars and then I found these for $4! I was originally going to wear a tank top under the shorts but it was ridiculously hot outside so I decided to try a bandeau top instead. I love the look of it from the side and it is actually really comfortable and not too awkward to keep pulling up. As for shoes I don’t like the booties I ended up wearing but I couldn’t find anything in my closet that would have worked. I think I would have preferred a pair of creepers or black combat boots.

All photos from google, tumblr or Vogue.com